With my aunt and her boyfriend, my cousin, my sister and my wife, I set out to go see “The Mummy”. Light entertainment… a nice fun movie, a good way to spend a nice time.
The theatre was full except for a few seats, two of which, to the right of my wife’s chair. We sat… we waited.
A couple of men came and sat on the free seats. It was immediately obvious to my wife that the one closest to her stank. He simply stank. He smelled so bad, that, soon enough, I was feeling it, two seats away.
Just before the movie started I, like a good gentleman, offered to take my wife’s place next to the stinker and endure the pain. I had no idea that it would actually be painful.
I can take it – I said to myself – after all… how bad can a person smell?
I had no idea. It is indescribable… describing smells is very difficult, it’s what makes Suskind’s book “The Perfume”, so good… he can do it. But I can’t… so I’ll never be able to fully explain the nausea, the sickening feeling I had throughout the film.
The stench reached such levels that the man sitting to the right of the stinker, simply left – to get another seat, I suppose. I couldn’t leave… I mean I wouldn’t, I was there with my friends and not about to go away. So I took it like a man.
What an experience!
As soon as he left I could tell the difference, but I was still sick for at least an hour. How is this possible? I mean he looked OK, nicely dressed, new clothes, his hair looked fixed, his face shaved… so how come he didn’t bathe? Why are people disgusting? This man hasn’t had a bath for months! He smelled so bad, I couldn’t even tell what he smelled of! I mean… if he’d been working, got off and decided to go to a movie for relaxing and smelled a bit of sweat, I could understand… it isn’t nice, but OK, maybe he didn’t have time to go home and wash…
But this guy stank of something else… of everything else… combine every bad smell you ever felt and this is what he smelled like! This is a guy that has paid 4 Euro to come see a movie, but, apparently, couldn’t afford a soap and a bit of water!
With examples like this… no wonder Americans think Europeans don’t wash! (of course Europeans think Americans don’t have brains, but that’s another story).
At the end of the movie I did something you can try yourselves for a nice laugh… As my aunt, sister and cousin sat quietly reading the titles, the room still dark, I crawled on my hands and knees through the row in front of ours (which was already empty)… with perfect timing I jumped up screaming, just like… euh… a mummy! :)
They freaked out, obviously. It was worth the stench-torture.
It 32 bloody degrees at 11 a.m. It must be about 40 indoors at night. I’m dying here! Please give me air conditioning! Please let me move to Sweden!
Today I decided I definitely want to have Linux running on my PC. So I picked up the Suse manual and started reading… I read and read, and although I pretty much understand 99% of it, I can’t really bring myself to risking an installation yet.
I can’t risk screwing up my whole system and be left with nothing can actually work with. If I was to simply install Linux by itself I’m sure I’d manage… but because I still need windoze, just to keep on the safe side… I am somewhat reluctant to try it by myself.
Bah, I’m sure I’ll have it someday…
Anyway I’m downloading the latest Matrox Millenium G200 drivers… I wonder if it’ll make any difference. I’m really sorry I ever bought this video card… It’s no good, simply put… Better image quality, they say… fine! But why o I want better image quality if I can’t actually crank my 3D games to 1024 X 768? It’s just to slow… Now I have my heart set on an nVidia card… but they’re still too expensive… I’ll wait.
Monday, and another meeting. This time with a painter who wants to exhibit his work on the internet. It’s all right. His work, that is… I kinda liked some of it, which isn’t at all bad when you know that I think art is dead by suicide.
What is art?
More importantly… what is art today? Buggered if I know.
The truth (as you know I am the carrier of the Ultimate Truth) is that there simply isn’t art anymore. Art was a form of communication and expression, it became a professional activity and a trade, and more recently it became a product. It simply isn’t fun anymore.
Why should I paint anything, or sculpt anything these days? So it’s sold? How can paintings be worth millions of dollars? This doesn’t even compute with my brain I’m afraid.
I think everyone should just stop being artists, I mean painters and sculptors… they should quit and go home. Become carpenters or dog trainers… there’s no point. It’s all been done, it’s been done to bloody exhaustion by now. Let’s stick to commercialism which is what our society can deal with right now. I’d hate to be a painter and know that I’m selling one of my paintings to an ignoramus that picked it because it matched her living-room carpet. I prefer to make a cool poster and know that I’m selling a million of them because they match the buyers carpets, curtains or simply because it covers a patch of badly done wall.
Let’s just stick to cartoons and illustrations, simple things with a simple purpose… and, of course, sit back and enjoy all the great works that have already been done… it’s ok now… put down that brush… take a deep breath. You don’t… need… to… paint!
We had another meeting today with a client. It seems that now that summer is here and everyday we have to undergo a heavy penalty for being humans, walking under 37 degress celsius of city sun… now, in this the most stupid season of all, is when everydoby finds out about us…
Anyway, the meeting went fine and we were ordered two new CD-ROM presentations and a website.
On my way home I took a quick look at the cats that live behind our house… one of them came running towards me. A tiny little white cat with a stripey tail, spots on her head a big, oval, black spot on her left side. The rest is history, her name is Scully.
We are now on cat number four, all females and all hating each other :) Well… we’re trying to get at least one of the older ones to take interest in Scully.
So I’ve been married for a year. What’s it like? It’s like being alive, waking up everyday, walking around and doing what you normally do. Do I like it? Heck yeah!
What? You think I’m stupid? Would I actually marry someone I didn’t enjoy? Yes, yes, I know there are plenty of people out there who get married to “the wrong person”, but I like to think I have more than two brain cells in my head.
Marriage is not a simple thing, but neither is life or managing to feed three or more cats at the same time. People who get married almost always suffer from the same problem: they know who they’re marrying, but they’ve never actually lived with the person before. And there’s much to be said about living with someone.
My first advice for married people is to talk to other married people. As soon as you realize that the things that annoy you are exactly the same things that annoy your friends, you’ve got it. It’s simple, it’s like when you want to play the guitar you have to ignore the pain in your fingers, you want to learn how to swim, then you’ll have to learn how to exhale under water.
You want to be married? Then you’ll have to get used to the fact that when a woman says: “I’m almost ready”, it actually means: “I’m starting my make up now, it should take about one and a half hours”. When you say “you look fine in that dress”, she actually hears “you’re fatter, don’t get delusional, take that rag off” (which sometimes, might be what you’re actually trying to say). Many people turn these simple situations in to terrible fights, which inevitably end in “you don’t love me” or “I’m leaving you”, or both… and then truly culminate in some sort of making up.
It’s tiring, emotionally exhausting and no fun at all. So a piece of advice, even though, I know, I’ve only been married a year: don’t do it.
On the other hand if you don’t want to get married: DON’T!
Do the world a favor and stay single… heck, we don’t want your offspring running around the streets ANYWAY! Of course you can have children without being married, obviously… but just don’t anyway, OK? Unless you really have something in your DNA worth while leaving to the world like I do. :)
So here I am, married for a year… I feel good, must be the weather, it’s nice and breezy.
With my aunt and her boyfriend, my cousin, my sister and my wife, I set out to go see “The Mummy”. Light entertainment… a nice fun movie, a good way to spend a nice time. The theatre was full except for a few seats, two of which, to the right of my wife’s chair. We […]
Blast it’s hot! It’s bloody hell hot, it’s flaky-flukey, dingy-dongy, blinkin’ hot! It 32 bloody degrees at 11 a.m. It must be about 40 indoors at night. I’m dying here! Please give me air conditioning! Please let me move to Sweden! Today I decided I definitely want to have Linux running on my PC. So […]
Monday, and another meeting. This time with a painter who wants to exhibit his work on the internet. It’s all right. His work, that is… I kinda liked some of it, which isn’t at all bad when you know that I think art is dead by suicide. What is art? More importantly… what is art […]
We had another meeting today with a client. It seems that now that summer is here and everyday we have to undergo a heavy penalty for being humans, walking under 37 degress celsius of city sun… now, in this the most stupid season of all, is when everydoby finds out about us… Anyway, the meeting […]
It’s my first wedding anniversary today. Hooray. So I’ve been married for a year. What’s it like? It’s like being alive, waking up everyday, walking around and doing what you normally do. Do I like it? Heck yeah! What? You think I’m stupid? Would I actually marry someone I didn’t enjoy? Yes, yes, I know […]
